Girlfriends For Life Support!

For the bulk of my life, I lived under the myth that guy friends were better than girl friends; no drama. I spent most of my childhood playing with my brothers, boy cousins, and the neighbor boy. We played well together and I didn't force (on too many occasions) them to play my girl games. There wasn't much crying over feelings we didn't understand. There was no "You talked to him more than me!" I think the most traumatic thing was when the neighbor boy threw a mud pie straight at my head and my mom made me come inside to wash up and not return outside to give him a good one right back! I loved doing "boy" activities and I still do!

I did have a sweet best friend in grade school. Sarah was a wonderful best friend! She grew up on a farm, so our play dates were spent doing more tom-boy stuff than barbies! Then middle school hormones hit, and boys were the focus. I held tightly to the idea that I didn't have girl friends because I didn't want the drama. I justified spending my time with boy friends (romantic or not) for the fact that I didn't need the fighting and the pettiness created by girl friendships. Let's just be honest... that justification was such a lie! I wanted to put boys first because they made me feel pretty. Wow, I really robbed myself. This justification continued on through my short college life and even after that.

Jump forward, skipping some gritty bits, to when I met my husband. I had still been on this "boy friends" rail when I met Casey. We hit it off right away and married soon after! We moved away from my childhood town and started a new life together. I was working in a new place, getting along much better with the guys (not for validation) because that's all I knew. Looking back, I passed up some pretty good girl friends. Then I got pregnant and my mind sure changed. Boys didn't have any idea what I was going through, and I started longing for a few girl friends to share this time of my life with. We were in an awesome church, but making girl friends was so foreign to me. Sure, I talked to the ladies. But I was looking for something deep! Something that I hadn't ever experienced. I prayed for a close bond! Why wasn't it happening?

Then I felt God telling me, "be honest" "lay yourself down". I need to be a friend to get a friend... age old advice I know. It took the selfless act of motherhood for me to understand. (I should have already learned this in marriage but I hadn't; and that's a completely different post) My first adult girlfriend was, of course, my mom. But she had to love me; I wanted someone who didn't have to love my ugliness. So time marched on, and our second pea-pod was on the way. And then it happened...I went to dinner with some girls from church and friendships blossomed! We were honest, selfless, and real. I'm so happy to say, that for the first time in my adult life I have some of the best friends a girl can ask for and one very special kindred spirit.

It's important, even vital, for us ladies to have these bonds. We need them for support, extra prayer, laughter, tears. God uses girlfriends in extraordinary ways. He uses them to keep us accountable, to text funny stories on the worst days, to point out our ugly parts in the most tender (or not so tender) ways. They patch that gash on your heart by giving you some of theirs. All while pouring us a glass of wine, or coffee! We live life together in a unique way. Most importantly, girlfriends continually plug our life support in to the Savior!

I love you my friends and my kindred spirit! I thank God for you! 

**I wish I could add a couple faces to this picture! <3